Icha Icha Corruption
by Seiichiro Watari
Summary: Hinata reads Icha Icha Paradise. What could go wrong, excluding everything and anything?
1. Icha Icha WTF

Icha Icha Corruption

Another Hinata-centric one-shot written by me…This might become a NaruHina, like I usually write, but it is mainly just something humorous that popped into my mind. Not even God knows what will happen in this one…unless he read the summary. Let the story start…5…4…3…2…

1337 D15c41m3r: I almost forgot...I don't own Naruto...who thought I did?  
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_Naruto's sensei, Jiraiya writes this book. Kakashi is never seen without this book. Kiba reads it when he's bored. And even SHINO reads it…when no one's around. So why don't I try to read it? _Hinata thought that it was a good idea…but who knows what she was thinking.

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December 26, 3:00 PM

Hinata went to the bookstore expecting a good read when she bought it, missing the dirty looks the clerk was giving her; she walked out of the store. The ever popular book was on-sale due to the day. She rushed out with the book in her arms when she bumped into Kurenai.

"A-ano…Kurenai-sensei, I-I was…just getting a book," Hinata stuttered out.

"Ah, what book did you…" Kurenai looked at the book and walked away, chanting to herself, "This is only a nightmare, I will wake up from it soon, Hinata isn't like that…" Hinata wondered what happened and figured Kurenai was late for a mission and didn't have time to talk.

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December 26, 5:00 PM

Hinata was going to shop for groceries so…It was later that day that she met Naruto buying that same book she was going to read.

"N-Naruto, ano…what are you doing buying that book?" she asked.

"Well," Naruto replied, "Jiraiya-sensei writes this but he never tells me what it's about, only that I need to grow up. Kakashi-sensei is never seen without this book, Kiba reads it when he's bored, and even SHINO reads it, even though he usually does it privately. I want to see what this book is all about that makes people like it."

"T-that's like what I thought when I bought it, maybe we can go to my house later tonight and try to reenact the story…so that we could understand the story better," Hinata said innocently, unknowing of the trouble it could cause.

"Maybe we should try it and…" Naruto looked at the first page and then decided, "On second thought…maybe we shouldn't read this. The content is too…hard." Naruto walked away, his hand was on his head as if he was mentally scarred.

A couple seconds later, outside of the store, Hinata could barely hear Naruto shouting, "SASUKE, WHY THE HECK DO YOU READ THIS STUFF?"

_Everyone is acting strange today, _Hinata thought, _maybe this book has something to do with it…nah, impossible._

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December 26, 6:00 PM

Hinata was done with her shopping and went home. She decided to go to her room and noticed her new book was missing when Neji came in and decided to talk to her.

"I'm sorry, were you reading this? I just wanted to borrow it, I didn't read this one." Neji was sweating, his hand looked sticky, and his face was reddened. Hinata noticed it but didn't know what that could mean.

As he handed the book back to her, she thanked him and asked for a bottle of milk while she was reading. Neji turned redder and agreed.

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December 26, 6:00 PM, 3rd Person Neji's side

After getting her the milk and closing the door behind him to leave Hinata quiet in her room, he suddenly whispered, "BYAKUGAN," in a loud voice. He then retracted it quickly thinking to himself, _Dude, she's your cousin. _He walked down the hall and saw Hanabi using her Byakugan.

He shouted to her, "SHE'S YOUR SISTER."

Hanabi replied calmly with, "You were doing it to your cousin, and I'm looking through Sasuke's clothes while he's still in front of our house."

Neji walked away disturbed, thinking, _Baka…Baka…Baka…_

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December 26, 8:00 PM, Back to Hinata 3rd person.

Hinata was reading the book, disturbed, while thinking, _Is that why Neji's hand is so sticky. I never knew THAT would go THERE. If I ever fell in a river, would Naruto give me CPR and take off all my clothes? If Naruto did IT to me I might actually like it though, but THAT couldn't fit THERE. NOO, WHAT AM I THINKING, the author is probably writing my thoughts right now. _That was when she decided to stop thinking and go to sleep.

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December 27 (Hinata's Birthday), 7:00 PM

Hinata woke up that morning, her bra unhooked, her panties out of place, her hair messed up, and the sad knowledge that she was the one who did all of it. She put her clothes back on and walked to the dining room, suddenly, "SURPRISE," the rookie 9 and team Gai were there at her birthday party.

Kiba later asked Naruto, "You were supposed to wake her up with a kiss, why couldn't you do that."

"When I walked into her room, she was completely naked, I couldn't wake her up like that," Naruto replied.

Kiba was outraged, "THEN LET ME DO IT. Man…if you let me kiss her, she would have had the time of her life, and if she was naked…

2:00 PM

The party was interrupted by an ambulance. "I feel sorry for Kiba," Hinata said.

Naruto told her, "He died of a massive nosebleed, I'm sure he died happy………too happy…" Naruto mumbled the last part to himself.

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December 27, 3:00 PM

Naruto and Hinata decided to take a walk by the river.

"Ano…I'm sorry if I'm t-troubling you," Hinata said. Naruto looked at Hinata and said, "Don't worry, you aren't."

While he was talking, he wasn't looking where he was going so he fell into the ice-cold river and near drowned…

"NARUTO," she screamed, and jumped in with him. She pulled him to the river bank and noticed he wasn't breathing.

_I have to do it, he's about to die, this isn't an excuse for me to kiss him. I should also give him a pill to make sure he has energy…maybe push it into his mouth with my tongue and…NOT LIKE THAT. _

She laid him down and placed a pill into her mouth. She placed her tongue in his mouth and pushed air into him. _Oh no…he's too cold. He'll freeze to death, I'll have to take off his clothes everything that is wet and…his boxers too._

She started to strip him and decided to stay close to him to warm him with her own body heat.

She wouldn't admit to herself, she only did that because that's what happened in Icha Icha Paradise.

Kakashi suddenly passed by and watched as Hinata was hugging a completely naked Naruto.

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December 28, 5:00 PM Naruto's side 3rd person

"Dammit," Sasuke said, "Naruto got laid before I did."

"Sasuke," Naruto replied, "What are you talking about?"

"I heard how Hinata was with you naked. I heard that she kissed you and used her tongue too. I need to get laid now. I can't let you surpass me. SAKURA WHERE ARE YOU?"

Naruto was as confused as ever…

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December 28, 5:00 PM Hinata again

_I have to write in my diary again,_ she thought.

_Dear Diary,_

_Today I got to see Naruto naked and even kiss him. I hope nobody_

_saw me. If Naruto ever finds out, I would just die of _

_embarrassment. I'm glad he was _

_unconscious._

_PS. He's a very big boy…_

Strangely, everything she wrote was meant to be innocent, even though it might not be at all.

Hinata walked outside for some fresh air and saw Naruto who instantly screamed out, "SASUKE SAID YOU RAPED ME."

Hinata fainted, Sasuke lied, and Naruto shot me because I wrote this so this is the end of my story.

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A/N: Idiocy at its finest. My boredom put this in play too.

I'm replying to my top 10 favorites now.

midnight-angel-of-darkness: Thanks. I can guess you have me on author alert or are lucky. Thanks for being with me since the beginning of my author-ship.

hoyt: Sasuke raped you? He's weird like that.

Hersheys Rock: You almost fell out of your chair, I really did fall out while wirting this.

Pink Ikawa 001: I'm sorry you had to laugh so hard and contain it at the same time. I tried that and hurt my stomach.

nara haruka: My inspiration for Icha Icha Corruption is well...a dream...a really really good dream.

sailorchix: CH. 2; Do you really see me as that much of a pervert? Don't answer that. I'm going to read a little Negima and Love Hina...Ja ne

Chidori vs Rasengan: CH. 2; WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO WRITE A SMUT SCENE...I'M ONLY 14! Well...I...maybe...that's actually a good idea, but I wanna keep this rated T (even if barely).

whatthehellwasithinking: CH. 2; Shino is a pervert. No way around it. He may seem calm but sometimes...I wonder...why does he always keeps his hands in his pockets...in my world...there is a hole in his pocket...that leads to his pants. His thick jacket is just there to hide the shaking.

M Warrior: CH. 2; There is no way I'm making this rated M. This is to educate the children and someday destroy the world with Icha Icha Chaos.

Final Favorite...if you can make it in...I'll post a review for every chapter of every fan fic (even if they are -shudders- SasuHina). Everyone free to try, I like witty comments.


	2. Rape and Randomness

Icha Icha Corruption

I didn't dream again so I wrote this with 0 inspiration. If this was bad, you know the reason.The fifth part of this story was my dream for the first chapter, except replace Naruto with me. Now with a "special" ending...

Disclaimer-mabob: I do not own Naruto or Icha Icha Paradise...but if only I could own Hinata...  
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December 31, 3:00 PM

_Everyone thinks I raped Naruto...that's not true...he was unconscious, I only took off our closed and pushed myself closer to him. I saved his life...I'm still a virgin.  
_She forgot that she had the power of inner voice and ended up screaming that phrase in public.

_Great...everyone thinks I'm crazy now too._  
"I don't think you're crazy Hinata," Shino said and surprised her.

"A-ano...Shino-kun...Hi! I just lost my self-control for a moment. Also, I didn't rape Naruto," Hinata was surprised at herself and turned half a million shades of red.

"You raped NARUTO?" Shino was surprised and was ready to kill.

"A-a-a-anooo..."

"YOU RAPED NARUTO!" Shino got so angry, he lost his balance and his glasses and shirt evealing is deep blue eyes.

"Oiii, Hina-chan, I'm sorry I thought you raped me," Naruto said while passing by.

"Daijoubu, Naruto-kun. It's noth-Shino what are you doing?" By the time Hinata finished saying that, Naruto was engulfed by bugs up to his neck.

"DIE NARUTO, YOU WHO TOOK HER VIRGINITY," Shino was mad and he wanted to kill.

"W-we didn't do anything...I just saw her naked...I swear," Naruto was scared.

Shino walked closer to him and whispered, "I'll spare your life for some pictures, her underwear, and measurements."

Naruto reached into his pocket and took 20 pictures out, Hinata's panties from the birthday incident, and a piece of paper with 3 numbers on them

(A/N: Anyone wanna PM me good measurements? I'm not good at this, I'm only 14).

"I'll spare your life today, but if I ever hear that you saw Hinata naked again...I will need more pictures." Shino whispered the last part to Naruto, who was surprised.

Shino walked away, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a bottle of lube. "Wh-what was that about?" Naruto asked.

"It's nothing, daijoubu," replied Hinata.  
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December 31, 5:00 PM

A woodsperson was cutting down the old Christmas tree, Hinata and Naruto near it.

"Ch-christmas is Konohagakure is really nice isn't it?" Hinata asked, looking for something to talk about

"Yeah, it is, but I'm just happy to spend it with you."

The Christmas tree fell over and landed on top of Naruto with Hinata under them. Naruto and Hinata's lips met as they were trapped under the Christmas tree.

"Anyone under there?" the lumberer asked...no sound (hard to talk while kissing).

"I'll just move this tree tommorow then," he said to himself.

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December 31, 6:00 PM

Hinata and Naruto were bored under the tree and they freed themselves from the kiss (after Hinata fainted twice) so they decided to try to get out.

"M-my jacket is getting in the way," Hinata said while she slipped off the jacket.

"H-Hinata..." Naruto stuttered.

"The mesh shirt is getting caught on thorns too..." She stripped down to nothing but her bra and panties. "N-Naruto-kun...couldyou check something, something seems to be poking into my stomach."

"T-That's nothing, really...it's just...a...kunai. The rounded end is...uh...poking into you," Naruto said, turning red and pale at the same time.

"Wow, I never knew they made kunais this big, is it made of steel too?" Naruto blushed again...and fainted.

"His clothes are getting in the way, I have to take it off if we want to get out," Hinata muttered to herself.

A few minutes later, Naruto was naked except for his boxers. Hinata slipped out and pulled Naruto out too. She thought she should remove the "kunai" or the sharp end might stab him. She reached into his boxers, grabbed it,and thought, _Wait...this isn't a kunai...it's...it'_s...when a dark figure passed by. A dark figure with long hair and white eyes.

"N-Neji-onii-san, ano...w-what are you doing here?" Hinata stuttered out.

"So that's what you're doing so late...why didn't you invite me? Whatever...I'll join anyway." Neji looked serious about his proposition and he took off his clothes...

"WAIT, YOU'RE MY COUSIN!"

"Oh well, Kiba and TenTen also went to look for you, they might be arriving here soon." As if on queue, they appeared, asked the same question Neji did, and both took off their shirts.

Kakashi also popped in and said, "You're too young for an orgy...Naruto's unconscious...you're raping him again? You're a naughty girl."

Shino suddenly heard it from 3 miles away, ran the 3 miles in half a second and threw an unconscious Naruto 10 feet.

"A-ano...Shino-kun, he's about to die," Hinata calmly said.

"You're still holding Naruto's penis..." Kakashi said.

Hinata looked down to see that she was really holding it...and that it wasn't connected to anything. "NARUTO'S PENIS! Can I keep it? Please, please, please," She was thinking about the many things she could do with it. (Poor Naruto...)  
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December 31, 6:00 PM, Random side story (A/N: Remember what Sasuke said? "SAKURA, WHERE ARE YOU?")

"Ahh, Sakura, I found you. I need to speak with you privately," Sasuke said.

"Sasuke, what do you need?" Sakura was curious.

"Shhh...not now, people could be listening, we need to go somewhere they'll never think to find us. Follow me."

Five minutes later, they ended up near a hotel...a love hotel.

"I'll rent a room so no one can come in," Sasuke said. They entered the room and Sasuke locked the door. "Now you can't leave..." He took out the leash and collar, along with a couple of his toys and a bottle of lube.

"S-Sasuke?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," a scream was heard through Konoha.  
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January 1, 8:00 AM

Naruto awoke in the hospital with a strange feeling in his pants...like something was ripped out andstuck back on. Hinata walked in wearing a Nurse uniform eating ice cream...

"Luckily I knew how to sew, or I may never have been able to bear your children." A soft smile escaped her lips.

"Wait a second...Hinata...did you read Icha Icha Paradise?"

"Yes, I did. I learned so many new tricks from it too." She continued to lick her ice-cream seductively until a little was smothered on her lips. She took her finger, wiped it off, and sucked on her finger next. Something in Naruto's pants grew.

Naruto woke from his dream, feeling that something really did get ripped out and stuck back on. He was in the hospital when her whispered to himself..."Oh no." He went outside to attempt to wash his boxers, thinking..._It won't come off..._

When he went back into his room, Hinata walked in...wearing a Nurse uniform...eating ice cream...

This time, instead of beating around the bush, she just laid on top of him and whispered, "Don't worry. I'll let you have fun soon..." (A/N: This is the point where I woke up T.T)  
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Naruto woke up again...he was dreaming inside a dream. Shino was there to send him postcards...from Hinata's shower stall. Kiba was also there.

"I THOUGHT YOU DIED," Naruto shouted.

"I did die,but Hinata accidentally fell on top of my corpse. When she did, I got so hot I came back to life."

Sasuke walked into his hospital room with a leash and a collar on Sakura, whose hair was rumpled and messy.

"Naruto, you will never surpass me, I am an Uchiha. I am hotter, sexier, andstronger than you any day. Even if you lost your virginity first, I lost mine second, and two is a bigger number," Sasuke said.

"He IS hot," Sakura said, "but you need to be bigger."

"SHUT UP SLAVE!"

"Yes, master..." Sakura replied.

Hinata also walked into the room and said, "NARUTO, you're awake. Could everyone leave...I need alone time with him..."

Everyone walked out of the room except Rock Lee and Gai.

"HITTING ON RANDOM GUYS, THE FIRE OF YOUTH BURNS WITHIN YOU!" Rock Lee shouted.

"GETTING LAID AT AN EARLY AGE AND SEEING HINATA NAKED, THE SPRINGTIME FLAME OF YOUTH BURNS WITHIN YOU TOO!" Gai shouted.

"THEY ARE SO YOUNG AREN'T THEY."

"YES, THEY ARE."

"WE SHOULD VIDEO TAPE THEM AND SELL IT ON E-BAY."

"YES, WE SHOULD."  
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Orochimaru and Kabuto walks past the hospital reception desk. "And then he says, we don't sell porn at this store, those idiots...I killed every last one of them," Orochimaru said

"We were at Kunais'R'Us Orochimaru-sama."

Orochimarutook out the newest Playninja.

"Reading porn? For shame Orochimaru-sama, for sha-"

"Sakura's on page 102."

Kabuto stole the Playninja and flipped to the page, "I knew Sasuke was a great guy, submitting this quality porn...hey,where'sNaruto'sroom?"

"He's in room 108...aren't you those evil Ninja?" The nurse asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"Nothing, don't worry."

"We should go in there and make fun of him until he cries...MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA," Orochimaru shouted.

"Orochimaru-sama, you really are evil," Kabuto replied.

Orochimaru opened the door and heard a loud shouting match..."THEY HAVE THE FIRE OF YOUTH DON'T THEY."

"YES, THEY DO, THEY HAVE THE FIRE OF YOUTH"

"Naruto, you are stupid. Crybaby. Chicken. Weak," Orochimaru said

"Yeah Naruto, you idiot. You will never become Hokage," Kabuto joined in and Orochimaru looked at Hinata. "You're in Playninja, page 64. Some guy named...Shino submitted you."

Kabuto was surprised and turned to that page. "You're hawt..."

"SHUT UP STUPID OROCHIMARU, KABUTO, GAI, ROCK LEE. GET OUT OF THIS #$ING ROOM RIGHT NOW YOU #$ING BAST#$S. HERE I AM TRYING TO #$ NARUTO AND YOU WON'T EVEN LET ME DO HIM?"

Gai shivered, Rock Lee hid in his jumpsuit, Kabuto ran out of the room, and Orochimaru wet his pants. They were all thinking the same thing..._PMS..._They all left and ran for cover.

"Now we have the room to ourselves, Naruto."

"Hinata...I can't move, what happened to me..."

"The paralysis should wear off soon, but now...you're all mine."

"AUTHOR STOP THE STORY RIGHT NOW."

Sounds resonate in the background...while Hinata is doing ONLY GOD KNOWS WHAT to Naruto...

"No wait Hinata...not th-" WebCam breaks down.

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Yay...ARIGATOU-GOZAIMASU to anyone who sent me a review. I made so many mistakes in this one but I caught them and fixed them.

What if they weren't OOC anymore?

Hinata: D-Did I really do that to him?

Naruto: Don't worry...After three years with Ero-Sennin...can we do it again?

Hinata: N-N-Naruto? D-Do you really w-want t-to...

Seiichiro: Rent a room. No one but 14 year old perverts like me want to see it.

Naruto: Doesn't that mean you want to.

Seiichiro: -flips to page 64- Yeah? Why?


	3. Sasuke is in Love with a Stripper

Kuso...I forgot to save so I have to rewrite the whole story from memory. All 1300 words of it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.  
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January 1, 9:00 AM

An evil ninja wearing a shirt that said, "I am not Kisame," sneaked out of Konoha Hospital.

"Hey," Kakashi appeared and said, "Aren't you that evil ninja Kisame?"

"Read the shirt." He said

"Oh, I'm sorry. I must have the wrong person," Kakashi said and disappeared.  
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January 1, 9:02 AM

Kisame sneaked into the Akatsuki base to hear Itachi argueing about an important matter.

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. GET IT FOR ME NOW," Itachi screamed out.

"B-But sir. They ran out of pink nail polish and we always use purple."

"WE EVEN CHANGED OUR NAME TO AKAT-UKE. AND YOU COMPLAIN JUST BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE NAIL POLISH?"

"I'm sorry sir. I will get pink nail polish immediately."

Kisame popped in. "We have found a demon more powerful than the Kyuubi."

"What is it?" Itachi asked.

"The once-a-month demon. It over-powered and RAPED the Kyuubi's vessel." Itachi shuddered and the leader hid under the covers.

"We will storm Konoha for the demon while singing our theme song."  
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January 1, 9:03 AM

Sasuke and Sakura were listening in on Hinata and Naruto.

"P-Please...Hinata. Take your finger out of there. It's starting to hurt."

"But Naruto, I love you so much, I need you."

"I'm inside of you now...please STOP. No wait...don't..."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."

Sasuke and Sakura walked away.

"No matter what Naruto said...he likes it doesn't he?" Sasuke asked.

"He does," said Sakura who was playing around with her bondage suit.

A loud singing noise was heard outside of the hospital.

_We are Akat-uke,  
more power than the rest.  
We are Akat-uke,  
your husbands be molest._

"That was strange," said Sasuke who walked outside to meet Itachi.

"Aren't we lucky that Konoha is only a two minute walk from the base?" asked Itachi.

"Brother...I HAVE COME HERE TO CHALLENGE YOU," Sasuke screamed in public.

"What's the challenge?" Itachi asked.

"It will be...a dance-off."

A disco ball lowered from the sky, the ground turned into a dance floor, and Shino, who was nearby, turned into MCShino-kid (wearing bling and a flashy jacket). Itachi and Sasuke got onto the dance floor and stated dancing.

30 minutes later...

"You tired yet Sasuke-teme?"

"You wish. I call...a TAG TEAM DANCE-OFF."

Itachi and Sasuke jumped out of the ring. Kisame jumped in the ring and stripped down to nothing. Sakura jumped into the dance floor and took off her bondage suit. She took out her pole and danced it.

"Where did she get the pole from?" Itachi asked.

"Some people say that she's shallow. They are wrong...she's very...VERY deep. I know for sure, I couldn't even reach the end."

"That's because you're small."

"Shut up, at least I have one. You cut yours off to join Akat-uke."

"She makes me wish I didn't cut it off."  
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Naruto and Hinata walked up to Sasuke.

"What -gasp- are you -gasping- doing here -out of breath-?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke looked at Hinata and said, "You forgot to put your pants on."

Hinata turned red and ran away. It was over an hour, yet Sakura and Kisame were still dancing.

Sasuke turned to Naruto. "This is an important matter...how was Hinata?"

"She was...she was great. She knew how to keep a guy wanting more and more."

"That's good. I might ask her to join my harem. I already have Sakura and TenTen is still tied to the tree."

"YOU WILL WHAT?"

Kisame was startled and he tripped.

Itachi came up to Sasuke. Sasuke said, "Now...I will kill you." Sasuke placed a jutsu on Itachi that made him ugly. "I have killed your social life. Don't ever raid Konoha again."  
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January 1, 10:00 AM

Rock Lee met Gai in the Super Market "I HAVE A VIDEO OF SAKURA POLE-DANCING!"

"YOU ARE YOUTHFUL, COLLECTING ILLEGAL PORN."

"OH GAI-SENSEI."

"OH, LEE."

"HHHHHUUUGGGGG," both of them screamed out together and hugged in public.

"LET US WATCH IT TOGETHER AT THE CLUB HOUSE."

"WE'LL CALL EVERYONE THERE AND HAVE IT BE A VIDEO NIGHT."  
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January 1, 11:00 AM

"I heard that Hinata raped you again, is it true," Shino and Kiba asked Naruto.

"W-what do you mean? I-I don't know anything a-about it," Naruto asked.

Hinata burst through the front door, "MY TEST CAME BACK POSITIVE. NARUTO, YOU'RE NOW A FATHER. What do you want to name the child? Do you think it will be a boy or a girl? Will you marry me so that we could take care of the child? Am I interrupting something?"

Kiba, Akamaru, Shino, and his bugs all leaped at Naruto. Rock Lee and Gai burst through the ceiling, making Hinata fly on top of the attackers and Naruto in an awkward position.

"YOU'RE PLAYING WITH THE HEARTS OF 3 MEN AND A DOG. YOU REALLY ARE YOUTHFUL."

An ugly Itachi burst through the door and kidnapped Hinata. "I NOW HAVE THE ONCE A MONTH DEMON. NO ONE CAN STOP AKAT-UKE NOW!" and ran into a pole and fainted.

Rock Lee decided to get back to the point, "We are having video night. The topic will be, "The hottest piece of A$$ in Konoha," starring Hinata, TenTen,and Sakura. It is a movie of Sakura pole dancing, Hinata raping Naruto, and Sasuke raping both Sakura and TenTen while she's tied to a tree. Hope you like it."

After hearing this, Sakura burst through the window and knocked Rock Lee out. "YOU WERE VIDEO TAPING THAT? I OUGHTA KILL YOU!"  
Inner Sakura thought, "I'm gonna be a porn star, CHA!"

Sasuke burst through the refridgerator and asked, "I'm going to be on TV in front of Konoha showing off my sexiness and hotness?"

"And your lack of size," Naruto said.

"Shut up, dobe."

TenTen burst through the wall...with nun-chucks up her...you know where, and punched Sasuke. "MY VIRGINITY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR NEJI."

"You have to admit that felt good."

TenTen blushed. "Yes...but...I wanted to be his first too. But it wasn't that good...there wasn't much inside of me."

"SHUT UP."

Neji...(A/N: Can you guess?)...burst through the floor. "LET'S MAKE LOVE RIGHT NOW!"

"Oh Neji..."

"EVERYBODY LEAVE MY HOUSE NOW," Naruto screamed out and everyone left. He looked around to find that his doors, windows, floor, ceiling, and wall were broken from crashing people. "This is going to take forever to clean up."  
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January 1, 10:00 PM (Movie Night Aftermath)

Rock Lee showed his movies...until the cops found the place and shut it down. Everyone was scarred for life...except Jiraiya and Kakashi (and Shino) who loved every part of the movie. No one but them (and Shika) wanted to see what Temari had under her skirt. Hinata was tied to the chair, forced to watch the movie and perform after movie "services." Throughout the night people could hear moans coming out of the room. Shino enjoyed it so much, he had to take off his sunglasses.

Lee was arrested for rape and peeping and illegal porn (hentai in our world) and broadcasting it on National Television without permission. His only arguement was, "ARRESTING PEOPLE IS NOT YOUTHFUL. PORN IS VERY YOUTHFUL."

And once again, Seiichiro wasted 5 minutes of everyone's life. What about nine-months later with Hinata...  
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Author's Corner:

Soon to be renamed Beta Reader's Corner or (Insert Beta Reader's Name Here) corner. **I need a Beta Reader, PM me if you want the job.** I'm good at writing...but I FAIL at checking over work...and I'm eating Ice Cream while I type so I'm bound to make mistskes (typing with a cone is hard).

Oh...and also...When I watched Ai Yori Aoshi: Enishi: Episode 3...I felt inspired...


	4. Kareoke TO THE MAX

_**Icha Icha Corruption**_

**A/N**: Another day, another chapter, another temple mind clean-up. This story…is based on my strange days in the forums.

**Disclaimer**: OMG! I never owned Naruto? That is sick…

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**January 2, 7:00 AM**

Hinata looked over the requirements, over and over again, thinking that this would be completely necessary to her current life style. She looked over the objective, and knew she would succeed. She signed up as a pair knowing they could do it, '_Naruto and Hinata.'_

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**January 2, 8:00 AM**

"WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SIGN US UP FOR KARAOKE!" Naruto's scream was heard through Konoha and people were thinking it was annoying wake-up call. "Ano…Kakashi and Kurenai signed up too. Why couldn't we? Sasuke and Sakura also signed up." At the mention of Sasuke's name, Naruto perked up. "I WILL DEFEAT YOU SASUKE-TEME!" Naruto screamed out.

"SHUT UP, DOBE!" Hinata sighed to herself, thinking,' _is this what I call a normal life?'_ While staring at Naruto who screamed at Sasuke who was screaming back. Sakura was on a leash, and TenTen was tied down.

Sasuke walked away, dragging TenTen on the ground

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**January 2, 9:00 AM**

Ino approached Sasuke, wanting to ask him out. Finally, Ino's eyes met Sasuke's with a benevolent gaze. "I-I've always loved you," Ino said to him, "Would…would you please go out with me?"

"ZOMG! I love you too , LET'S MAKE BABIES RIGHT NOW!"

"Sasuke," Ino started, "Is there anything wrong with you?"

Sasuke started talking in a valley girl accent, "The author made me, like, totally OOC, so like, and I'm all like, chillin'. That is like, totally sick and all, like, awesome."

"Sasuke, what are you talking about? Are you sure you're okay?" Ino started to worry.

"Yo, what's up my homie girl? You still got the shit from last time?" Ino started to back away slowly. "Let's get you to the Happy Hotel; they have tons of great games to play."

"OOOOHH, REALLY? REALLY? I love games." Ino had enough of the out-of-character-ness and decided to sneak away while he was looking at the sky thinking about space and how to be an astronaut.

"I'm not letting you get away that easily," he said with an evil glare. Ino was scared; she heard what he did to TenTen and Sakura, who were now his slaves. "No wait…NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Ino's mother watched with pride. "My daughter is so mature, getting raped her first time…I'm so proud," she sniffed as she watched Ino struggle. "No, no, don't put your hand there, place it lower."

Sasuke looked at her and said "Thanks," as the strangeness continued.

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**January 2, 10:00 AM**

TenTen woke up next to Ino, who were both tied to the wall. "Why are you here?" TenTen asked, "Don't you like Sasuke so that he doesn't have to rape you?"

"Yeah, but he was acting weird. He kept blabbering nonsense about OOC and authors." Ino was embarrassed while remembering what he said while he was in valley girl mode. "You don't think…Sasuke is gay do you?"

"No, he raped us, not Naruto or Shikamaru." Sasuke came back and tied Shikamaru on the wall next to them. "I stand corrected," she said.

"How troublesome…first Temari ties me to a wall ('and had her way with me,' he muttered) now Sasuke wants the same thing. Do you think he's gay or something?" asked Shikamaru.

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**January 2, 11:00 AM**

Sasuke went for a walk outside of Konoha. When he took a step outside Orochimaru appeared and started to attack Sasuke. "HEY GUARDS!" Sasuke screamed out, "AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO SAVE ME FROM EVIL!" The guard looked in his direction, "Sorry we're on our lunch break."

Orochimaru looked at Sasuke, "I WANT YOUR BODY."

Sasuke looked at Orochimaru strangely, "What did you say?" Sasuke looked freaked out. "I WANT TO GO INSIDE YOUR BODY."

"Dude," Sasuke said, "That's just wrong." Sasuke was even more freaked out.

"I WANT MY SOUL TO BE IN YOU!"

"That's fine." Sasuke started to walk away. "I WON'T LET THIS CHANCE RUN AWAY AGAIN." Sasuke looked at him as if he were the plague. Orochimaru charged at Sasuke while throwing random shurikens at him. Sasuke screamed out, "PIMP NO JUTSU!" and pimped out Orochimaru's face. Orochimaru looked around in fear as he looked at his face in the mirror he always carried around.

"No…my face, my beautiful face! GUYS WILL NEVER LIKE ME ANYMORE." Tayuya came by and looked at Orochimaru's face admiring the smoothness and color. "What did Sasuke do to you, because you just turned hot."

"You…you really think so Tayuya?"

"Of course, every girl in the village will come looking for your beautiful face." Orochimaru was crushed. No boy would ever like him again.

"Don't worry Orochimaru, I still love you," Sasuke said.

"You really mean it?" Orochimaru asked. "Will you give me your body?"

"HELL NO! I don't swing that way."

Shikamaru came back bare naked and screamed out, "THEN WHY DID YOU STRIP ME AND TIE ME TO A WALL!" Everyone looked at him, "Putting clothes on is too troublesome," he said.

"Did…Did Ino and TenTen escape too?" Sasuke looked scared. And weird.

"Untying people who are screaming at you for help is also troublesome. I left them tied there," Shikamaru said.

Orochimaru started crying and ran away. "That Orochimaru really likes children, doesn't he?" Sasuke asked. "It sure looks like it," Tayuya said.

"He's too-"

"Troublesome, yeah, we know," Sasuke and Tayuya said together.

Sasuke looked at Tayuya, "Hey, wanna come over to over to my place?"

"Sure," she said. Shikamaru looked over what happened and started to think,' _and it'll happen again._ '

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**January 2, 2:00 PM**

Naruto and Hinata were practicing and singing the only song they knew…"I'm Too Sexy." They even decided to add motions to make it look cooler. Hinata had been practicing for this moment all her life. Stripping in front of Naruto…had been her dream.

Hanabi stopped by Naruto's house and said, "Hinata, put your clothes back on. You can have sex tomorrow if that's what you want, but she has homework today." Hinata complained that she wanted to stay for the night, but Naruto said she should go because he only had one bed (or futon, your choice). Hinata wanted to stay even more.

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**January 2, 4:00 PM**

Hinata was asleep in her room wearing the skimpiest nightgown that she had when Naruto came into the room. Naruto saw Hinata and a Chibi-Kakashi with horns and a long barbed tail popped up on his shoulder.

"You know you want it, go get it. She won't mind, she forced herself on you before," the Chibi-Kakashi said.

'_Wait a second, _he thought to Chibi-Kakashi,' _Isn't there supposed to be a good conscience too?' _

Chibi-Hinata appeared on his shoulder and said, "Please, have your way with me."

'_Aren't you supposed to be my good conscience?' _He thought to Chibi-Hinata.

"I AM your good conscience. The horns are only there to hold up the halo," Chibi-Hinata said.

'_Wait…where's my good conscience?'_

Chibi-Sasuke popped up on his head while tying a Chibi-Iruka to a chair and gagging him with duct-tape.

'_Well, Iruka isn't giving me any advice so…'_

Naruto walked up to Hinata, who looked confused about the 30 seconds of silence and the massive nosebleed on Naruto. Naruto pushed her down onto the bed and Chibi-Iruka broke free of the gag.

"NARUTO STOP! THIS IS GOING TO RUIN YOUR LIFE!"

Naruto stopped as he was about to take off her nightgown.

Hinata looked on her shoulder, and saw a Chibi-Jiraiya writing a book and saying, "Do it, you know you want to." On the other shoulder, Chibi-Naruto was there, half-naked and licking her neck seductively.

'_Who cares? I'll just let him put it in for a minute or two.'_

"DYNAMIC EENNTTRRRYYYYY!" two voices screamed as the door to her bedroom broke.

"YOU'RE GOING TO KARAOKE NIGHT! HOW YOUTHFUL!"

"WE ENTERED TOO! ISN'T THAT ALSO YOUTHFUL!"

"THAT IS YOUTHFUL! OH GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"HHHHHHUUUUUGGGGGG!"

The background changed into the sunset on the beach, as they ran at each other in slow motion, with the waves crashing on the rocks.

"CHANGING THE BACKGROUND IS SO YOUTHFUL ISN'T IT!"

"IT IS LEE!"

"LET'S HAVE ANOTHER HU---"

Naruto kicked Lee out of the room and Hinata kicked Gai out, crushing his manhood.

"NOOO! KURENAI WILL NEVER WANT ME AGAIN!"

"I AM SORRY GAI-SENSEI! LET'S RUN 2,000 LAPS AROUND KONOHA! IF WE CANNOT DO IT, WE SHALL DO 10,000 PUSH UPS!"  
"AND IF WE FAIL THAT, LET'S PUNCH THE TRAINING DUMMY 20,000 TIMES!"

"What was that?" Hinata asked while doing the blinky-blink.

"I don't know."

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**January 2, 8:00 PM: Karaoke Night**

Kakashi and Kurenai came up first, with an advertising song. "WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU!"

Rock Lee started singing a song he made up with Gai…in the most horrible voice people can imagine.

THE POWER OF YOOOOO –Lee's voice starts to break- UUUTHHHHHH; IT PULLS US THROUGH THE DAYYYYY-Lee's voice cracking-YYYYY 

Someone from the audience screamed out, "BOO, YOU SUCK," and the manager kicked them out before everyone went deaf.

Sasuke and Sakura came up to the stage. They took a deep breath and started their greatest song. "I lub you, you lub me, we're a happy family." It was the Barney Song.

Hinata and Naruto came up last, singing "I'm Too Sexy" while Hinata stripped everything. Naruto and Hinata won first prize…A TRIP TO…THE HOSPITAL. Sasuke beat Hinata up and shot Naruto.

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**Beta Reader's Corner (Chidori vs Rasengan's Corner)**

**CvsR**: LOL XD. Another random yet funny chapter, but the last part was weird, yet funny. I hope that I spell-checked everything right.


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